Friday the 13th, Day -7

So far, Cole's chemo is doing exactly what it's supposed to - eliminate both his bone marrow and his immune system.  I suppose we should be happy that his numbers are trending down, but turning him into a toxic wasteland doesn't feel like cause for celebration.  Not yet, anyway.  It feels a little like we're pushing him from the window of a burning building - we know he needs to leave, there's no turning back, and while it will be a rough fall, we hope that he lands safely. 

The doctors are pleased with Cole's progress.  Though we constantly smell like bleach and our hands are raw from washing, we've been able to keep him germ free.  While he's still in isolation, we're trying to make it as unlike prison as we can by decorating the walls and playing games when he feels up to it.  His days have been mostly good.  He's generally had enough energy to get out of bed, play a little and had an appetite.  He hasn't lost his hair and hasn't gained much weight yet.  We know all of this is about to change based on the medications about to come and the conversations we've had with other parents in the bone marrow ward. 

I'm overwhelmed by the general love and care for Cole and the other patients in the unit.  The nurses, doctors, friends, family, co-workers and volunteers re-affirm my faith in humanity.  I am amazed by the kids and parents here.  Some families have multiple children going through bone marrow transplants at once.  Some have been here for 6 months or more.  Some have complications that make treatment far more dangerous. Some of these children will never leave this unit while many others will go on to live happy, productive lives.  Despite that harsh reality, or maybe because of it, people continue to give their time, effort and support.  And it is deeply appreciated by those receiving it. 

It's not lost on me that today is Friday the 13th.  I'm not a superstitious person, but I appreciate when buildings don't have a 13th floor, I'm happy when a black cat doesn't cross my path and I still hold my breath when driving past a cemetery.  I try to enjoy every day, but I do look forward to tomorrow, day -6 as I only want positive thoughts and it's one day closer to getting Cole home.